Is It Better To Follow Your Head Or Your Heart?

If your head tells you one thing and your heart says another, which is the one you should listen to? When it comes to relationships, both play an important role. Here’s when you should listen to your head or your heart when it comes to love:

Follow Your Head

· When you’re thinking of cheating. If you have a wandering eye and are considering acting on it, put your emotions on hold and think about what you’re about to do. Cheating can have serious consequences in your relationship so think long and hard about what you might be risking. Don’t let your attraction or emotions rule your actions.

· When you’re attracted to someone off-limits. Maybe you’re attracted to your best friend’s ex or someone else that you know you shouldn’t pursue. Don’t let your emotions cloud your judgment when it means that you’re risking your friendship or another important relationship. Think about what acting on your attraction would mean for your friendship instead of acting impulsively and following your heart.

· When they treat you badly. Don’t listen to your emotions when you’re in a bad relationship. Your emotional side will make excuses for their bad behavior and get sentimental about their good qualities. Instead, you need to use your head and look at the cold hard facts if they treat you badly, it doesn’t matter how many good times you’ve had together.

· When you’re thinking about getting physical. Leave your emotions (and libido) out of the equation when you’re contemplating taking your relationship to a more physical and intimate level. Think clearly about why you’re doing it and make sure you’re not being pressured. Weigh the consequences of what potential ways your relationship will be affected and definitely use your head to consider health and birth control options.

Heart

· When deciding who to be with. Forget what your head is telling you about whether or not someone is your usual type, or if your friends will approve. You can’t help whom you’re attracted to and if there’s someone that you just really want to be with, listen to your heart and go for it. Don’t worry about what your head or anyone else has to say about it.

· When committing. If your heart tells you that you’ve struck relationship gold and you simply just want to be together, listen to your heart when deciding if you want to commit to someone. Don’t start weighing the pros and cons in your head and thinking about all of the reasons why you should keep your options open. If you’re really into someone and they feel the same, follow your heart and commit to them.

· When it comes to long distance. There are a million reasons not to try a long distance relationship and it’s easy to talk yourself out of it. But sometimes it’s just the right person and you want to be together and make it work, no matter the distance. Listen to your heart to determine if they’re the one and you are willing to stay together even with a bit of distance between you.

· When saying “I Love You”. Don’t let your head rule this one because it will surely talk you out of it. Expressing your love to someone is purely emotional. If you think about it too much you’ll likely be scared off by the risks. Take the leap and follow your heart if you want to reap the rewards of telling your partner that you love them.

Source

Ben Franklin effect

The Ben Franklin effect is a psychological finding: A person who has done someone a favor is more likely to do that person another favor than they would be if they had received a favor from that person. Similarly, one who harms another is more willing to harm them again than the victim is to retaliate.

Ben Franklin effect – Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia.

How to Develop Your Personality

1. Work on becoming an exceptional listener. There’s nothing more attractive, and appealing, than someone who listens intently to you.

2. Keep reading, and seek to develop a wide range of interests. That makes it easier to talk to you, and to exchange ideas with you. You also come across as being a more interesting, balanced, and knowledgeable individual.

3. Work on developing your conversation skills. This is partly tied in with number 2. It’s about being able to make small talk and to share interesting bits of information with others. If you are shy, or you find this difficult, try to watch and learn from others who are strong in this area. Then, try copying and implementing some of the basic skills they use.

4. Don’t be afraid to have your own opinions. It’s good to know what you think about things as this provides a starting point for making conversation. (But be careful not to come across as rude, dominating, or to push your thoughts and views on other people!)

5. Get out and meet new people. This also helps develop our interpersonal skills as it forces us to interact with those who’re different from us. Doing that, will broaden and expand your horizons and make it easier to mix with lots of people.

6. Appreciate, enjoy and express your true self. You are special and unique – so discover who you are – and don’t try to copy, and be like, someone else.

7. Work on developing a positive and optimistic approach to life. There’s nothing worse than being with someone who is critical, complaining, miserable and pessimistic. In contrast, a positive person lifts the mood of everyone. So smile, affirm others, and look for what is good.

8. Also, maintain a sense of humour, laugh often, and have fun. We all want someone who can brighten our way, and distract us from the hassles and problems of the day.

Via onlinecounsellingcollege

March 8, 2013
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articles, personal growth, personality, psychology, self-help

7 Interesting Social Skills

1. Whenever someone is angry and confrontational, stand next to them instead of in front of them. You won’t appear as so much of a threat, and they eventually calm down.

2. Open with “I need your help.” People don’t like the guilt of not helping someone out. When asking for a favor from someone, begin your request by saying “I need your help.” It greatly increases your chances of getting that favor done.

3. Rephrase what the other person says and repeat it back to them. This makes them think you’re listening and really interested in what they’re saying. It makes them feel validated. Obviously, you don’t want to overdo this.

4. If you want someone to agree with you, nod while you talk.This gets the other person to nod too, and they begin to subconsciously think they agree with you.

5. If someone doesn’t like you, ask to borrow a pencil. It is a small enough favor that they won’t say no, and it gets them to like you more. Check out the Benjamin Franklin effect for more explanation.

6. Fold your arms to determine interest. If someone is observing you, they will likely mimic you. Fold your arms, and see if they do it, too.

7. Repeat a person’s name many times during a conversation. It helps you remember it, and makes them like you more.

via neurolove.me

10 Ways To Be Supportive

Relationships aren’t all fun and games. Life happens and one of you will be bound to lose a loved one, have a sick family member, etc. Being a good partner means standing by through good times and bad. The good times are easy to handle. Here are some tips on how to be supportive through tough times:

Listen. Let them know right away that you’re there for them if and when they want to talk. When that time comes, free yourself from distractions and really let them vent by listening and giving them your full attention.

Acknowledge the situation. People often feel awkward or they don’t know what to say in times of crisis. Don’t pretend that nothing happened. Acknowledge the situation, say that you’re sorry for what they’re going through, or even admit that you don’t quite know what to say. Any of these are better than saying nothing.

Offer distraction. When they’re ready you can be there to take them out for pizza, go to a movie or anything else to get their mind off of things.

Offer to help. Can you help make any arrangements? Do any errands? Bring over takeout? Show that you care by offering to lighten their load.

Help them remember the positives. When they get down about a tough situation you can be there to talk with them to remember good memories or find a silver lining.

Help with the little things. Without asking, take charge and pick up notes from classes they’ve missed, or anything else that will be helpful. Chances are they’ll forget all about those little details if they’re distracted by a crisis and they’ll be grateful that you’re looking out for them.

Treat them. Now is the time to go the extra mile to make them feel special and loved. Buy their favorite flower or bring them their favorite dessert, just because.

Give them space. If they need a bit of breathing room, give it to them and don’t take it personally.

Treat them normally. They’ll need your support but the last thing they want is your pity or you treating them like a victim. Try to treat them the same way you always do.

Don’t make it about you. Tell them that you can only imagine what they’re going through. Or if you can relate, say so. But leave it at that. Don’t launch into stories about the time you experienced the same thing. This isn’t about you.

via neurolove.me

Living a Life that is Meaningful

1. First, figure out what matters most to you.

2. Have the courage to live that life, no matter how hard it is, and no matter how much others mock or criticise you because of it.

3. Don’t look to others for affirmation and approval. You need to be true to yourself, and not to others.

4. Discover what you’re really passionate about. What makes you lose all sense of time, and leaves you feeling relaxed and fulfilled?

5. Be willing to experiment with other interests, too. We’re usually interested in lots of different things, and that brings balance to our personality.

6. Respect and listen to that quiet inner voice. That will redirect you if you start to veer off course.

7. Pursue excellence in everything you do. Work hard, acquire knowledge, and develop your skills.

8. Invest your knowledge and abilities in making a real difference in the lives of other people.

9. Make friends with failure – it’s a crucial part of growth. It means that you are trying, and not wasting your life.

10. Build strong and lasting relationships. Little else will matter if you end up all alone.

via neurolove.me

Seven Essential Ingredients for a Healthy Relationship

It is hard to find a soul mate! Not many people find a special person who loves them from the bottom of their heart. On the other hand, people who find such a special person are not able to hang on-to each other for a long time due to their negligence. Maintaining a relationship is the most difficult task.

Here are 7 essential ingredients to keep a steady, happy and healthy relationship:

Respect – For you to respect your loved one is the best way to express love. There isn’t anything more valuable in this world than respect. When you give respect, you actually gain respect. You don’t have to make an effort to respect your partner. If you love your partner truly, you will automatically respect your loved one. Don’t just respect your partner in the heart; show it with your actions and words. Respect, also in terms of space and your loved one’s ideas and opinions.

Trust – Start trusting your partner from the very beginning of your relationship. When a person trusts another person, there is a sense of reliability between the two of them. Trust helps in building a relation to a great extent. It is really special to know that someone trusts you no matter what. Share this feeling between you and your partner to let the love flow freely. “Trust” is the foundation of every relationship.

Give Time – Keep things steady when you’ve won the heart of your loved one. Often, people tend to get over excited and seem to rush through things which end in disaster. Give your relationship suitable time till you both reach a comfort level which is agreeable to the both of you. Don’t start expecting certain things from your loved one from the very beginning. It can make things complicated.

Maintain a Balance – Don’t try to steal your loved one’s freedom and personal life. Keep a balance in independence and dependence on each other. When people maintain a slight gap and maintain a balance, relationships grow very smoothly.

Compromise – is the most essential ingredient to maintain a happy relation. Someone has to sacrifice for the other. You shouldn’t be afraid to make compromises for the person who you love the most.

Appreciation – It’s important to appreciate each other’s efforts. It will make your loved one realize that you actually value the efforts being made by them. Males must appreciate the beauty of their partner. Women always love to be complimented on their looks and appearance. Make it a point to compliment. It is an important ingredient to a happy, healthy relationship.

Be Straight Forward – Don’t ever hide anything from your partner no matter what it is. Once you lose the trust of your partner, you won’t be able to fix the damage. Be honest to your partner as it will enhance the “trust” factor in your relationship. Lying may seem an easy way out of the situation but do you really need to lie to your loved one? One lie leads to several other lies. Your partner will understand you if you tell them the truth.

via Tumblr: psych-quotes.tumblr.com

Can Dogs Form True Friendships with Other Dogs

An amazing tale in the last paragraph of this article. Made my heart go pitty-pat.

Excerpt: In recent times we have heard stories and seen videos of dogs engaging in what looks like extreme demonstrations of loyalty and friendship for another dog. For example, from Japan, following a devastating earthquake, came the video of a spaniel-type dog standing guard over an injured dog. From China, and from New York, came videos of dogs disrupting traffic on busy highways as they stood protecting a canine friend who had been hit by a car when crossing the road…

Body Language Cues

Kiss Me
She’s leaning in a little bit, she’s looking at you with an inviting smile, she’s touching your arm, she’s even tilted her head a little… what are you waiting for? Go for it!

Get Away From Me Now
Arms crossed and an annoyed expression? She’s pulling away every time you try to touch her? He’s backing away every time you try to get closer? All of these spell out one thing and we’re not sure what you did but you’d better leave them alone.

Slumped Posture
This could mean a number of things but we’re always sure that it’s a sign of a really bad day. They’re either sad, discouraged, hurt or fearful about something. You should definitely see if they’re going to be all right.

Try It And See What Happens
See, the phrase “try it and see what happens” could mean something completely different depending on how it’s said but the body language here is telling you that something good will happen…

Don’t Even Think About It
The body language here is telling you that if you do decide to “try it” then “what happens” is probably going to hurt. Hands on hips is never a good sign! We’re warning you dude, don’t do it!

Playing with her hair
This one is kind of a no-brainer, if a woman is playing with her hair while she talks to you, she’s probably flirting with you… but she could also be trying to get the hair out of her eyes. Make sure it’s more of a “you’re really cute” gesture and less of a “I really hate my new haircut” sort of thing.

The Handshake
A strong handshake is good but when it’s too strong it could be a sign of insecurity. When it’s too soft, it could mean lack of interest. The best handshake is when your palm touches theirs, it is a sign of sincerity and openness for a good relationship.

Mirror, Mirror
When someone is mirroring what you do, it means that they are on the same page as you. In dating it’s a sign of attraction.

Avoiding Glance
When a person can’t look you in the eyes while speaking it could mean they are nervous but it usually means they are being dishonest about something. When they avoid eye contact while listening, it could mean they are not paying attention, they’re angry or that they have some bad news to admit.

Maintaining Eye Contact
When someone gives eye contact while speaking, it’s a sign of honesty. When someone gives eye contact while listening, it’s a sign of respect.

Leaning In
This is a great sign. If the person you’re talking to is leaning in as you talk, it means that they are completely engaged in you and your conversation together.

Raised Eyebrow
This could mean that a person is confused but it’s also a sign that the person is interested in what you’re saying and they want to know more.

Fidgeting
This is often considered a nervous habit but it could also be a sign of impatience or discomfort. If someone is fidgeting a lot, they may need some comforting words or even some space.

Eye Roll
This one is kind of a no-brainer, they are seriously annoyed by whatever you just said. Choose your next words wisely!

via neurolove.me

We are healed in our healing of others

In giving, we heal ourselves.

Something to think about…

Someone will be helped today by our kindness. Compassionate attention assures others that they do matter, and every one of us needs that reassurance occasionally. Offering words of encouragement to others, or a willing ear, can be unexpected gifts. They will be deepy appreciated.

A secondary gift, though, is to ourselves. Helping someone in need benefits the helper just as much. Our own closeness to God — and thus, assurance about our own being — is strengthened each time we do God’s work, each time we do what our hearts direct.

We are healed in our healing of others. God speaks to us through our words to others. Our own well-being is enhanced each time we put someone else’s well-being first.

We’re all on a trip, following different road maps, but to the same destination. Be ready to lend a helping hand to a troubled traveler today. It will breathe new life into your own trip.

Source (modified): Each Day a New Beginning | Hazelden Meditations

The Science of First Impressions

What parts of the brain are involved when we meet someone for the first time?

A few years ago, a team of researchers at New York University led by Daniela Schiller examined the neuroscience of how people form impressions of others. While their brains were being scanned in an fMRI machine, subjects were shown a photograph of a face and read six sentences about that person…

15 Important Life Lessons

1. Don’t take yourself too seriously. Learn to laugh at your mistakes.

2. Life is too short it to waste it on resentments, bitterness or grudges you’re holding against others.

3. You don’t have to win every argument and fight. Sometimes it’s OK to just agree to disagree.

4. Make peace with your past – then let it go, and move on.

5. Choose to go after what brings you happiness.

6. Don’t compare yourself to others.

7. It doesn’t really matter what others think about you – just live your own life and be true to who you are.

8. Life isn’t always fair – but sometimes good things happen, too!

9. Try to ignore your feelings – and keep taking the next step.

10. Ask for what you want.

11. Don’t suffer in silence – reach out for support.

12. Everything changes.

13. Be willing to experiment and try something new.

14. The most important thing is to love and be loved.

15. Believe that the best is yet to come.

via onlinecounselingcollege

Strive for progress, not perfection

Something to think about…

We are looking for progress, not perfection; however, we sometimes get lost or confused between the two. Expecting ourselves to be perfect at something we are only now learning is a familiar affliction. As we accept our humanness, we’ll allow the mistakes that are a normal part of the process of living and learning — a process we call progress.

Our need to be perfect will lessen with time. And we can help ourselves break the old habits. Perfection and self-worth are not symbiotic, except in our minds. And it’s a symbiosis that has done us a grave injustice. Breaking the old thought patterns takes a commitment. We must first decide and believe that we are worthwhile, simply because we are. There is only one of us; we have a particular gift to offer this world. And our being is perfect as is. Affirming this, repeatedly, is our beginning. But with this, too, progress will be slow; perfection need only be worked for, not achieved.

The patterns we are weaving with our lives are complex, full of intricate detail and knots. We need to go slow, taking only one stitch at a time. With hindsight, we will see that whatever the progress, it was the perfect fit to the overall design.

Source (modified): Each Day a New Beginning | Hazelden Meditations

Why Our Brains Love Sugar – And Why Our Bodies Don’t

How sugar affects our brain chemistry making us want more and more.

“That glazed doughnut is calling my name. Oh yes it is! It’s so sweet and pink and full of sprinkles. I long to taste those delicious sweet tidbits melting in my mouth, giving me a rush of pleasure and energy and making everything okay even when it isn’t.” How many of us have had this feeling around mid-afternoon on a particularly grey and miserable day, when nothing seems to be going our way. I know I have! Longing for the comfort of a sweet treat, a blanket, a cup of coffee and a reality show on the TV. Just wanting to check out for a while when life gets too demanding and difficult. And if we do this occasionally, we can just call it a “Mental Health Day” and leave it at that. We don’t need to buy into those Sugar Nazis foretelling gloom and doom if we eat one doughnut, especially if we turn off the TV for a bit and eat it mindfully.

On the other hand, if this is our way of life or our habitual way of coping with stress, or, even worse, if we starve ourselves for a week or two, then give in and binge with half a dozen donuts, all the while feeling intense shame and self-disgust, we can get ourselves into a lot of trouble. In this case, we may be addicted to sugar. And, unlike other addictions, we can’t just stop eating or stay away from all the things that remind us of sugary food, because we have to eat to live and the sugary stuff is all around us, from the grocery aisle to Pinterest ! Just look at the facts below.

Why Our Brains Love Sugar – And Why Our Bodies Don’t | Psychology Today.

What’s the first word you see in this Word Search?

What’s the first word you see in this Word Search? Note the word in a comment (click the title of this post to get to the comment page) and let’s test the theory that 70% of people see the same first word. I don’t believe it, but you all might prove me wrong.

The text that came with this post was this: “70% OF PEOPLE SEE THE SAME WORD FIRST. Be honest, don’t scroll down at others answers, look at the Word Search and post the first word you see. Like if someone else has seen it first, too.”

via FB: What is normalcy in an abnormal society?

Work Can Be Play If You Find Your True Calling

I often tell my college and post graduate students that they shouldn’t search for a job or even a career after they complete their education. Rather, they should search for their vocation and calling. I ask them to reflect on their greatest gifts and talents and then see if they can parlay them into a satisfying way to make a living and a difference in the world.

Of course not everyone can get paid for what they love to do. For example, so many people want to do something creative with their lives such as work in music, drama, writing, and the arts but they just can’t find a way to make a decent living at these pursuits. Many also must settle for a job or career that provides a reasonable salary but that involves work that they find uncomfortable or even hate. Sadly, many people spend their work life counting the years, months, and days to retirement. A good friend of mine has a computer app that offers a countdown to retirement that he proudly and frequenly displays…

How to be Genuine in Relationships

1. Try to be as natural as you can when you’re with others. Just be “you.” Don’t put on a false self and try to be someone you’re not. Accept your flaws and imperfections – as everyone has them anyway!

2. Listen carefully when others are speaking. Give them your full and undivided attention. And really listen when other people are speaking: don’t just act as if you’re interested in them.

3. If you say or do something that’s inept or stupid, then be the first to laugh at yourself. Also, don’t blame others if you do something wrong – you’ll be much more respected if you say that it was you.

4. Be quick to notice and to show appreciation for other people, and what they do for you. Also, notice their successes and the things that they do well, and praise them openly, so others know as well. (But don’t use flattery, as it sounds insincere.)

5. Be honest (but tactful) when you’re asked for your opinion. That sends the message that you usually speak the truth.

6. Look for ways that you can help other people, as genuine people are sensitive and caring. As a side effect, it will likely boost your mood – and others will be drawn by your inner happiness.

via neurolove.me

Five Gifts of Being Highly Sensitive

People who are highly sensitive, often struggle with the following:

1. They are easily overwhelmed, and often feel stressed through being overstimulated: That is, they often feel exhausted, stressed, worn out and worn down by processing so much detail – or through vicariously experiencing too much pain in the lives of others.

2. They are more personally affected by others’ emotions: Thus, they find it hard to detach themselves, or throw off the feelings and heartache of others. Instead, they tend to absorb anger, pain and distress when others around them are experiencing these.

3. They need more time and space for themselves: In order to restore their boundaries, to refresh their minds and renew their energy, highly sensitive people need to retreat, and to spend time alone. Unfortunately, others may jude them as being unsociable as they don’t understand their need to withdraw.

4. They may feel driven by unhealthy perfectionism: They often have unrealistic expectations, and are harsh, unforgiving and demanding of themselves. This is because they overanalyse, and worry about what other people think and want. (Related to this, many highly sensitive people also suffer from low self-esteem.)

5. They may feel out of sync with the people around them: The western world values extroverted people who are confident, lively and highly sociable. This can add extra pressure to more sensitive people who are cautious, and careful of the judgments of others. They can also feel they’re seen as being too sensitive, or as too emotional, or not tough enough.

For more information see: http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2010/03/28/5-gifts-of-being-highly-sensitive/

40 Interesting Dream Facts

Every human dreams. There are tons of people who can’t remember their dreams when they wake up, but they still get them
Human beings spend roughly around 6 years of their lifetime dreaming
Sometimes we dream outside of our REM sleep (Rapid Eye Movement)
Thousands of years ago, the Egyptians were the first to create a dream dictionary in 4000 B.C.E
We roughly spend around 1/3 of our lives sleeping
People who suffer from a personality disorder lack dream activity
Our brains tend to be way more active when we sleep, than when we’re awake
Humans tend to have around 3 to 7 dreams a night. We dream around 2 to 3 hours in a whole night
90% of the dream is lost the first minute we wake up
Men tend to dream about men more than women, and women dream about people of both genders
Drug withdrawal can cause more intense dreams. People who also quit alcohol and smoking experience heavier dreams and nightmares
You can lucid dream for up to 30 minutes if trained properly
It’s impossible to dream when you’re snoring
Babies don’t dream of themselves until they reach the age of 3
More women than men experience deja-vu in their dreams (eg. you have been in the dream before)
People who experience Sleep Paralysis hear voices and see strangers in their rooms
Nightmares happen more to kids than adults
Blind people dream. Their dreams are auditory if they were born blind. If they became blind at an early age, they still dream of what they remember
Did you know around 100 000 drivers a year crash going in and out of sleep in their cars
Thousands of people suffer from sleep apnea in America
Men get erections in their REM sleep and women have an increased blood flow to their vaginas
You can translate over 5000 dream symbols
The word “Nightmare” was used a long time ago for a female spirit who besets people at night while sleeping
On average, dogs sleep around 10 to 13 hours a day
The colder your house is, the worse your dreams are. They say that if your room is at an average temperature, you have better sleeps
Your body burns more calories sleeping than it does in the day time
Information that we learn before we go to bed tends to stick with us longer than information any other time
On average, cats sleep 10 to 15 hours a day
If you avoid your sleep for more than 10 days, you will die
A giraffe sleeps for only 2 hours a day
Most dreams are based on visual images (Except in people who were either born blind, or who lost their sight at an early age). Occasionally, dreams will include sound and touch.
The normal rules of logic do not apply in dreams. For example, the dream may be taking place in one location – then, abruptly, the dreamer is translocated to a completely different place.
Most dreams occur in a house – but this is usually not your own home. The most frequently reported room is the living room. People rarely dream about their work place or school.
The most frequent scenario is the dreamer plus two other people.
Famous people seldom appear in our dreams. The vast majority of people dream about people who are significant to them, especially if there is an ongoing conflict.
Mundane activities (such as brushing your teeth) rarely appear in dreams.
Dreams tend not to be happy events, and the three most common reported emotions are anger, sadness and fear.
Some themes are so common that they are reported the world over. These universal themes include the loss of a tooth, falling or flying, exhibition, arriving late for exams or other important events, and being chased or attacked.
Cross-cultural research indicates that our dreams reflect normal life events in our own country and culture.
There appear to be some differences in the content of dreams between the two sexes. Specifically, women are more likely to dream about their children, family or household activities; men are more likely to dream about strangers, violence, sexual activity, achievement, and outdoor events.

via neurolove.me and dreamdictionary.org

From this moment forth…

Something to think about…

Yesterday is gone, but its experiences will be reflected in those of today. We learned from both the good and the bad situations of yesterday. Where we travel today, likewise, will influence our direction tomorrow. We can’t do over what has gone before, but we can positively incorporate all that life is offering us from this moment forth.

We are moving toward greater understanding of life’s mysteries with each experience. As today unfolds, we can be moved by the adventures. What we experience is ours alone and will contribute to the unfolding of our special destiny We move forward, only forward The doors behind us are closed forever.

Source (modified): Each Day a New Beginning | Hazelden Meditations

That which we fear grows in proportion to our obsession with it

Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it.

~ Bill Cosby

Something to think about…

How can we ever do that which seems impossible? Taking a class, quitting a job, leaving a destructive relationship behind, asking for help; none of these can we do alone or with ease. All of these we can handle when we rely on the help of one another and the help promised by our higher power. Tackling, with God’s help, that which seems impossible, reduces it to manageable size. It also deflates the power our fears have given it.

That which we fear grows in proportion to our obsession with it. the more we fear a thing, the bigger it becomes, which, in turn, increases our fear. How lucky we are that God awaits our call for the strength, the companionship that is guaranteed us. We are in partnership, all the way, every day, if we’d only recognize it. We can move toward and through anything. And the added benefit is that we come to trust our partnership. We soon know that all situations can be met. All experiences can be survived. Avoidance is no longer our technique for survival.

Source (modified): Each Day a New Beginning | Hazelden Meditations

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How to Beat Your Fears

1. First, acknowledge your fear. This is a huge first step. If you do just this today, you’ve done something great. Many of us have these fears, but they are at the back of our mind, unnoticed, unacknowledged, as we try to ignore them and pretend they’re not there. But they are there. And they affect us. So acknowledge the fear.

2. Write it down. What’s your fear? Write it on a piece of paper. Writing it down takes the fear from the dark lurking places in the back of your mind, where it has power over you, out into the light of day, where you have power over the fear.

3. Feel the fear. Recognize that you’re not alone, that we ALL have these fears. There’s nothing wrong with having this fear. Allow yourself to feel it. It’s a part of you, but it doesn’t control you. Remember you can “feel the fear and do it anyway.”

4. Ask yourself: what’s the worst thing that can happen? Often it’s not as bad as we think. Do you fear being rejected by someone? What would happen if you were? You’d lick your wounds, you’d find someone else, and you’d go on living.

5. Just do it. To beat the fear, you have to just do it. Ignore your fears and just go for it!

6. Be in the moment. Fear of failure (and other similar fears) are fears of the future. We get caught up in worrying about what might happen. When you find yourself thinking about the past or future, bring yourself back in the moment and focus on what you’re doing right at this moment.

7. Small steps. Start small. Do something you know you can do. Allow yourself to feel good about that – and then take another small baby step. Keep doing this …

8. Celebrate every success! Make a note of every single thing you do right, even the smallest little thing. Use this feeling of success to propel yourself forward and take the next step. Then keep building on each previous success ….

Source: http://zenhabits.net/a-guide-to-beating-the-fears-that-are-holding-you-back/

Choice and attitude

Something to think about…

The day ahead offers us choices of many kinds — some big ones, many that will affect other persons close to us, a few that will have profound effects on our destiny. But, no choice, no decision we make, will be wrong. A particular decision may lead us slightly astray. Down a dead-end path perhaps — but, we can always turn back and choose again.

We are seldom aware of the gravity of a particular choice at the time of making it. Only hindsight reveals the wisdom of an important choice. Nevertheless, no choice is without importance in the overall picture of our lives. and at the same time, no choice is all-powerful regarding our destiny. We are offered chances again and again for making the right choices, the ones that will most contribute to the bigger plan for our lives.

Source (modified): Each Day a New Beginning | Hazelden Meditations

Celebrate the truths as they come

Something to think about…

We understand, today, ideas we couldn’t grasp yesterday. We are conscious, this year, of details of our past that we may have glossed over at the time. Our blinders are slowly giving way, readying us for the truths we couldn’t absorb before.

“When the student is ready, the teacher appears.” And the teacher comes bearing truths that we need to assimiliate into our growing bank of knowledge. The truths we may be given today, or any day, won’t always make us happy immediately. We may learn that a job is no longer right for us, or that a relationship has reached an end.

And the impending changes create unrest. But, in the grand scheme of our lives, the changes wrought by these truths are good and will contribute, in time, to our happiness.

Let’s celebrate the truths as they come and trust the outcome to God. We are traveling a very special road. The way is rocky. The bends limit our vision, but we will be given all the direction we need.

Source (modified): Each Day a New Beginning | Hazelden Meditations

January 26, 2013
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articles, daily meditations, devotionals, inspirational, life quotes, motivational, personal growth, psychology, quotations, quotes, self-help, truths

Happiness Is How You Are, Not How You Feel

Excerpt: Aristotle said, “Happiness is the meaning and the purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence.” For him and most of his contemporaries, happiness referred not to an emotion but the long-term pattern of action, the sum of which was your moral character. It is the habits of virtue that are acquired over years of exercising the appropriate virtues.

A person doesn’t feel happy as much as happiness is a general state of being. Viewing happiness as something in the world as opposed to an individual feeling is not the way we usually understand the term.

January 25, 2013
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articles, happiness, personal growth, psychology, self-help