Is It Better To Follow Your Head Or Your Heart?

If your head tells you one thing and your heart says another, which is the one you should listen to? When it comes to relationships, both play an important role. Here’s when you should listen to your head or your heart when it comes to love:

Follow Your Head

·        When you’re thinking of cheating. If you have a wandering eye and are considering acting on it, put your emotions on hold and think about what you’re about to do. Cheating can have serious consequences in your relationship so think long and hard about what you might be risking. Don’t let your attraction or emotions rule your actions.

·        When you’re attracted to someone off-limits. Maybe you’re attracted to your best friend’s ex or someone else that you know you shouldn’t pursue. Don’t let your emotions cloud your judgment when it means that you’re risking your friendship or another important relationship. Think about what acting on your attraction would mean for your friendship instead of acting impulsively and following your heart.

·        When they treat you badly. Don’t listen to your emotions when you’re in a bad relationship. Your emotional side will make excuses for their bad behavior and get sentimental about their good qualities. Instead, you need to use your head and look at the cold hard facts if they treat you badly, it doesn’t matter how many good times you’ve had together.

·        When you’re thinking about getting physical. Leave your emotions (and libido) out of the equation when you’re contemplating taking your relationship to a more physical and intimate level. Think clearly about why you’re doing it and make sure you’re not being pressured. Weigh the consequences of what potential ways your relationship will be affected and definitely use your head to consider health and birth control options.

Heart

·        When deciding who to be with. Forget what your head is telling you about whether or not someone is your usual type, or if your friends will approve. You can’t help whom you’re attracted to and if there’s someone that you just really want to be with, listen to your heart and go for it. Don’t worry about what your head or anyone else has to say about it.

·        When committing. If your heart tells you that you’ve struck relationship gold and you simply just want to be together, listen to your heart when deciding if you want to commit to someone. Don’t start weighing the pros and cons in your head and thinking about all of the reasons why you should keep your options open. If you’re really into someone and they feel the same, follow your heart and commit to them.

·        When it comes to long distance. There are a million reasons not to try a long distance relationship and it’s easy to talk yourself out of it. But sometimes it’s just the right person and you want to be together and make it work, no matter the distance. Listen to your heart to determine if they’re the one and you are willing to stay together even with a bit of distance between you.

·        When saying “I Love You”. Don’t let your head rule this one because it will surely talk you out of it. Expressing your love to someone is purely emotional. If you think about it too much you’ll likely be scared off by the risks. Take the leap and follow your heart if you want to reap the rewards of telling your partner that you love them.

Source

How to Develop Your Personality

1. Work on becoming an exceptional listener. There’s nothing more attractive, and appealing, than someone who listens intently to you.

2. Keep reading, and seek to develop a wide range of interests. That makes it easier to talk to you, and to exchange ideas with you. You also come across as being a more interesting, balanced, and knowledgeable individual.

3. Work on developing your conversation skills.  This is partly tied in with number 2. It’s about being able to make small talk and to share interesting bits of information with others. If you are shy, or you find this difficult, try to watch and learn from others who are strong in this area. Then, try copying and implementing some of the basic skills they use.

4. Don’t be afraid to have your own opinions. It’s good to know what you think about things as this provides a starting point for making conversation. (But be careful not to come across as rude, dominating, or to push your thoughts and views on other people!)

5. Get out and meet new people. This also helps develop our interpersonal skills as it forces us to interact with those who’re different from us. Doing that, will broaden and expand your horizons and make it easier to mix with lots of people.

6. Appreciate, enjoy and express your true self. You are special and unique – so discover who you are – and don’t try to copy, and be like, someone else.

7. Work on developing a positive and optimistic approach to life. There’s nothing worse than being with someone who is critical, complaining, miserable and pessimistic.  In contrast, a positive person lifts the mood of everyone. So smile, affirm others, and look for what is good.

8. Also, maintain a sense of humour, laugh often, and have fun. We all want someone who can brighten our way, and distract us from the hassles and problems of the day.

Via onlinecounsellingcollege

7 Interesting Social Skills

1. Whenever someone is angry and confrontational, stand next to them instead of in front of them. You won’t appear as so much of a threat, and they eventually calm down.

2. Open with “I need your help.” People don’t like the guilt of not helping someone out. When asking for a favor from someone, begin your request by saying “I need your help.” It greatly increases your chances of getting that favor done.

3. Rephrase what the other person says and repeat it back to them. This makes them think you’re listening and really interested in what they’re saying. It makes them feel validated. Obviously, you don’t want to overdo this.

4. If you want someone to agree with you, nod while you talk.This gets the other person to nod too, and they begin to subconsciously think they agree with you.

5. If someone doesn’t like you, ask to borrow a pencil. It is a small enough favor that they won’t say no, and it gets them to like you more. Check out the Benjamin Franklin effect for more explanation.

6. Fold your arms to determine interest. If someone is observing you, they will likely mimic you. Fold your arms, and see if they do it, too.

7. Repeat a person’s name many times during a conversation. It helps you remember it, and makes them like you more.

via neurolove.me

Living a Life that is Meaningful

1. First, figure out what matters most to you.

2. Have the courage to live that life, no matter how hard it is, and no matter how much others mock or criticise you because of it.

3. Don’t look to others for affirmation and approval. You need to be true to yourself, and not to others.

4. Discover what you’re really passionate about. What makes you lose all sense of time, and leaves you feeling relaxed and fulfilled?

5. Be willing to experiment with other interests, too. We’re usually interested in lots of different things, and that brings balance to our personality.

6. Respect and listen to that quiet inner voice. That will redirect you if you start to veer off course.

7. Pursue excellence in everything you do. Work hard, acquire knowledge, and develop your skills.

8. Invest your knowledge and abilities in making a real difference in the lives of other people.

9. Make friends with failure – it’s a crucial part of growth. It means that you are trying, and not wasting your life.

10. Build strong and lasting relationships. Little else will matter if you end up all alone.

via neurolove.me

Seven Essential Ingredients for a Healthy Relationship

It is hard to find a soul mate! Not many people find a special person who loves them from the bottom of their heart. On the other hand, people who find such a special person are not able to hang on-to each other for a long time due to their negligence. Maintaining a relationship is the most difficult task.

Here are 7 essential ingredients to keep a steady, happy and healthy relationship:

Respect – For you to respect your loved one is the best way to express love. There isn’t anything more valuable in this world than respect. When you give respect, you actually gain respect. You don’t have to make an effort to respect your partner. If you love your partner truly, you will automatically respect your loved one. Don’t just respect your partner in the heart; show it with your actions and words.  Respect, also in terms of space and your loved one’s ideas and opinions.

Trust – Start trusting your partner from the very beginning of your relationship. When a person trusts another person, there is a sense of reliability between the two of them. Trust helps in building a relation to a great extent. It is really special to know that someone trusts you no matter what. Share this feeling between you and your partner to let the love flow freely. “Trust” is the foundation of every relationship.

Give Time – Keep things steady when you’ve won the heart of your loved one. Often, people tend to get over excited and seem to rush through things which end in disaster. Give your relationship suitable time till you both reach a comfort level which is agreeable to the both of you. Don’t start expecting certain things from your loved one from the very beginning. It can make things complicated.

Maintain a Balance – Don’t try to steal your loved one’s freedom and personal life. Keep a balance in independence and dependence on each other. When people maintain a slight gap and maintain a balance, relationships grow very smoothly.

Compromise – is the most essential ingredient to maintain a happy relation. Someone has to sacrifice for the other. You shouldn’t be afraid to make compromises for the person who you love the most.

Appreciation – It’s important to appreciate each other’s efforts. It will make your loved one realize that you actually value the efforts being made by them. Males must appreciate the beauty of their partner. Women always love to be complimented on their looks and appearance.  Make it a point to compliment.  It is an important ingredient to a happy, healthy relationship.

Be Straight Forward – Don’t ever hide anything from your partner no matter what it is. Once you lose the trust of your partner, you won’t be able to fix the damage. Be honest to your partner as it will enhance the “trust” factor in your relationship. Lying may seem an easy way out of the situation but do you really need to lie to your loved one? One lie leads to several other lies. Your partner will understand you if you tell them the truth.

via Tumblr:  psych-quotes.tumblr.com

Our attitudes shape our world

When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.

~ Buddist Proverb

Something to think about…

Meeting life head-on, with a smile, attracts people and situations to us.  Our attitudes shape our world — which is not to deny that problems do occur.  However, problems can be viewed as special opportunities for personal growth — as gifts, more or less, that we are ready to receive.  When the student is ready, the teacher appears.  the stumbling blocks we encounter push us beyond our present awareness.  They teach us that we are stronger and more creative than we’d thought.  Problem solving is esteem-building.

Negatively confronting the day is sure to complicate any experiences.  A simple misunderstanding can be exaggerated into a grave situation, requiring the energy of many people to handle it.  On the other hand, a patient, trusting, loving attitude can turn a grave situation into a positive learning experience for all affected.

We can beautify the day by smiling throughout all the experiences it offers us.  The epression of love to everyone we meet guarantees to make us more lovable in return.

Source (modified):  Each Day a New Beginning | Hazelden Meditations

barnesandnoble.com/w/each-day-a-new-beginning-karen-casey/1101316704

Changing the situation

Sometimes it takes a painful experience to make us change our ways.

~ Proverbs 20:30

Something to think about…

Being used to a situation, even a painful one, carries with it a level of comfort.  Moving away from the pain, changing the situation, be it job, home, or marriage, takes courage and support from other persons.  But, even more, it takes faith that the change will benefit us.  For most of us, the pain will need to worsen.

In retrospect, we wonder why it took us so long.  We forget, from one instance to the next, that a new door cannot open until we’ve closed one behind us.  The more important fact is that a new one will always open, without fail.  The pain of the old experience is trying to push us to new challenges, new opportunities, new growth.  We can handle the challenges, new opportunities, new growth.  We can handle the change; we can handle the growth.  We are never given more than we can handle, and we are always given just what we need.

Experience can’t prepare us for the ramifications of a new change.  But our trust in friends, and our faith in the spiritual process of life, can and will see us through whatever comes.

Source (modified):  Each Day a New Beginning | Hazelden Meditations

Remember to put the glass down!

A psychologist walked around a room while teaching stress management to an audience. As she raised a glass of water, everyone expected they’d be asked the “half empty or half full” question. Instead, with a smile on her face, she inquired: “How heavy is this glass of water?”

Answers called out ranged from 8 oz. to 20 oz.

She replied, “The absolute weight doesn’t matter. It depends on how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute, it’s not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I’ll have an ache in my arm. If I hold it for a day, my arm will feel numb and paralyzed. In each case, the weight of the glass doesn’t change, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes.” She continued, “The stresses and worries in life are like that glass of water. Think about them for a while and nothing happens. Think about them a bit longer and they begin to hurt. And if you think about them all day long, you will feel paralyzed – incapable of doing anything.”

It’s important to remember to let go of your stresses. As early in the evening as you can, put all your burdens down. Don’t carry them through the evening and into the night. Remember to put the glass down!

via FB: Science is Madness

There is wonder in the moment

Be happy for this moment. This moment is your life.

~ Author Unknown

There is wonder in the moment, if we but look for it, let it touch us, believe in it.  And with the recognition and celebration of the wonder comes the joy we desire and await.

Being wholly in tune with the present moment is how we’ll come to know the spiritual essence that connects all of life.  We search for peace, happiness, and contentment outside of ourselves.  We need instead to discover it within us, now and always, in whatever we are experiencing.

We can let our experiences wash over us.  Longing for a different time, a distant place, a new situation breeds discontent.  It prevents us from the thrill, the gifts offered in this present moment.  But they are there.

We can practice feeling joyful in the present, be thrilled with the realization that, right now, all is well.  All is always well.  Life is full of mystery and wonder, and each moment of our awareness adds to the wonder.

Source (modified):  Each Day a New Beginning | Hazelden Meditations

A change of heart

Sometimes God doesn’t change your situation because He’s trying to change your heart.

~ Author Unknown

Self-doubt fosters possessiveness.  When we lack confidence in our own capabilities, when we fear we don’t measure up as women, men, mothers, fathers, lovers, employees, we cling to old behavior, maybe to unhealthy habits, perhaps to another person.  We can’t find our completion in another person because that person changes and moves away from our center.  Then we feel lost once again.

Completion of the self accompanies our spiritual progress.  As our awareness of the reality of our higher power’s caring role is heightened, we find peace.  We trust that we are becoming all that we need to be.  We need only have faith in our connection to that higher power.  We can let that faith possess us, and we’ll never need to possess someone else.

God’s love is ours, every moment.  Recognition is all that’s asked of us.  Acceptance of this ever-present love will make us whole, and self-doubt will diminish.  Clinging to other people traps us as much as them, and all growth is hampered, ours and theirs.

Source (modified):  Each Day a New Beginning | Hazelden Meditations

Blame, Responsibility, and Care

Excerpt:  One of the core milestones on the path of consciousness transformation is the moment when we can fully integrate the radical awareness that our emotional responses to the world and to things that happen to us are never caused by another person. This awareness stands in stark contrast to our habitual speech, which states that we feel what we feel because of what someone else did. Instead, we learn, if we apply ourselves deeply to this practice, that our emotions are only caused by the meaning we assign to what someone did, and that meaning is generated from within us, not by the actions. (Click through to read more)

via Blame, Responsibility, and Care | Psychology Today.

An Answered Prayer

Something to think about…

Patience is a quality that frequently eludes us.  We want what we want when we want it.  Fortunately, we don’t get it until the time is right, but the waiting convinces us our prayers aren’t heard.  We must believe that the answer always comes in its own special time and place.  The frustration is that our timetable is seldom like God’s.

When we look back over the past few weeks, months, or even years, we can recall past prayers.  Had they all been answered at the time of request, how different our lives would be.  We are each on a path unique to us, offering special lessons to be learned.  Just as a child must crawl before walking, so must we move slowly, taking the steps in our growth in sequence.

Our prayers will be answered, sometime, somewhere.  Of that, we can be sure.  They will be answered to our greater good.  And they will be answered at the right time the right place, in the right way.

Source (modified):  Each Day a New Beginning | Hazelden Meditations

Offer a helping hand to another person

We are each of us angels with only one wing, and we can only fly by embracing one another.

~ Luciano de Crescenzo

Something to think about…

We need to take note, today, of all the opportunities we have to offer a helping hand to another person.  We can notice, too, the many times a friend, or even a stranger, reaches out to us in a helpful way.  The opportunities to contribute to life’s flow are unending.

Our own vibrancy comes from involvement with others, from contributing our talents, our hearts, to one another’s daily travels.  God lives in us, among us.  When we close ourselves off from our friends, our fellow travelers, we block God’s path to us and through us.

To live means sharing one another’s space, dreams, sorrows; contributing our ears to hear, our eyes to see, our arms to hold, our hearts to love.  When we close ourselves off from each other, we have destroyed the vital contribution we each need to make and to receive in order to nurture life.

We each need only what the other can give.  Each person we meet today needs our special contribution.

Source (modified):  Each Day a New Beginning | Hazelden Meditations

Janet’s Note:  The “angels with only one wing” quote has long been one of my favorite quotes.  The charm that I sell to help people remember the quote is one of my best-sellering charms. If you are interested in viewing the charm, visit my PocketQuotes store.

There is so much good in the worst of us

There is so much good in the worst of us, and so much bad in the best of us, that it hardly behooves any of us to talk about the rest of us.

~ Edward Wallis Hoch

Something to think about…

Focusing on a good point in every person we encounter today will benefit us in untold ways.  It will smooth our relations with that person, inviting him or her to respond kindly, also.  It will increase our awareness of the goodness all around us.  It will hep us realize that if everyone around us has positive traits, then we must also have them.  But, perhaps the greatest benefit of focusing on good points is that it enhances us as individuals; a healthy, positive attitude must be cultivated.  Many of us have had little experience with feeling positive.

By focusing on the positive, we can have a new lease on life every moment.  We can learn new behaviors, and we can learn that, with the help of a higher power and one another, all things that are right for us are possible.  It is energizing to focus on the good points of others, to know that their good points don’t detract from our own.  Our own rough edges become smooth as we accept and celebrate the goodness in others.

Source (modified):  Each Day a New Beginning | Hazelden Meditations

Gratitude for what “is”

Forever is composed of Nows.

~ Emily Dickinson

Something to think about…

Gratitude for what “is” prepares us for the blessings just around the corner.  What is so necessary to understand is that our wait for what’s around the corner closes our eyes to the joys of the present moment.

We have only the 24 hours ahead of us.  In fact, all we can be certain of having is the moment we are presently experiencing.  And it is a gift to be enjoyed.  There is no better gift just right for us than this moment, at this time.

We can, each of us, look back on former days, realizing that we learned too late the value of a friend or an experience.  Both are now gone.  With practice and a commitment to ourselves, we can learn to reap the benefits of today, hour by hour.  When we detach from the present and wait for tomorrow, or next week, or look to next year, we are stunting our spiritual growth.  Life can only bless us now, one breath at a time.

Source (modified):  Each Day a New Beginning | Hazelden Meditations

Don’t be afraid of change

Don’t be afraid of change, because it’s leading you to a new beginning.

Something to think about…

Everything changes.  Nothing stays the same.  And letting go of the way things are, anticipating instead what they might become, frees us to live each moment more fully.

Time marches on, and our destiny marches with it.  There is purpose in how our lives unfold; the ups and downs serve our growth.  We must neither resent the doldrums nor savor too long the elation.  Giving too much attention to either state interferes with our awareness of the present.  And the present has come to teach us.

We must move with time.  We must focus our attention on the moment and accept whatever feelings each experience elicits.  Emotional maturity is accepting our feelings and letting them go, and facing the next moment with fresh receptivity.  Our lessons are many, and they accompany the lows as well as the highs.  We can be grateful for both.

Nothing lasts forever, and within each struggle is the opportunity for real growth.

Source (modified):  Each Day a New Beginning | Hazelden Meditations

Body Language Cues

Kiss Me
She’s leaning in a little bit, she’s looking at you with an inviting smile, she’s touching your arm, she’s even tilted her head a little… what are you waiting for? Go for it!

Get Away From Me Now
Arms crossed and an annoyed expression? She’s pulling away every time you try to touch her? He’s backing away every time you try to get closer? All of these spell out one thing and we’re not sure what you did but you’d better leave them alone.

Slumped Posture
This could mean a number of things but we’re always sure that it’s a sign of a really bad day. They’re either sad, discouraged, hurt or fearful about something. You should definitely see if they’re going to be all right.

Try It And See What Happens
See, the phrase “try it and see what happens” could mean something completely different depending on how it’s said but the body language here is telling you that something good will happen…

Don’t Even Think About It
The body language here is telling you that if you do decide to “try it” then “what happens” is probably going to hurt. Hands on hips is never a good sign! We’re warning you dude, don’t do it!

Playing with her hair
This one is kind of a no-brainer, if a woman is playing with her hair while she talks to you, she’s probably flirting with you… but she could also be trying to get the hair out of her eyes. Make sure it’s more of a “you’re really cute” gesture and less of a “I really hate my new haircut” sort of thing.

The Handshake
A strong handshake is good but when it’s too strong it could be a sign of insecurity. When it’s too soft, it could mean lack of interest. The best handshake is when your palm touches theirs, it is a sign of sincerity and openness for a good relationship.

Mirror, Mirror
When someone is mirroring what you do, it means that they are on the same page as you. In dating it’s a sign of attraction.

Avoiding Glance
When a person can’t look you in the eyes while speaking it could mean they are nervous but it usually means they are being dishonest about something. When they avoid eye contact while listening, it could mean they are not paying attention, they’re angry or that they have some bad news to admit.

Maintaining Eye Contact
When someone gives eye contact while speaking, it’s a sign of honesty. When someone gives eye contact while listening, it’s a sign of respect.

Leaning In
This is a great sign. If the person you’re talking to is leaning in as you talk, it means that they are completely engaged in you and your conversation together.

Raised Eyebrow
This could mean that a person is confused but it’s also a sign that the person is interested in what you’re saying and they want to know more.

Fidgeting
This is often considered a nervous habit but it could also be a sign of impatience or discomfort. If someone is fidgeting a lot, they may need some comforting words or even some space.

Eye Roll
This one is kind of a no-brainer, they are seriously annoyed by whatever you just said. Choose your next words wisely!

via neurolove.me

Celebrate the truths as they come

Something to think about…

We understand, today, ideas we couldn’t grasp yesterday.  We are conscious, this year, of details of our past that we may have glossed over at the time.  Our blinders are slowly giving way, readying us for the truths we couldn’t absorb before.

“When the student is ready, the teacher appears.”  And the teacher comes bearing truths that we need to assimiliate into our growing bank of knowledge.  The truths we may be given today, or any day, won’t always make us happy immediately.  We may learn that a job is no longer right for us, or that a relationship has reached an end.

And the impending changes create unrest.  But, in the grand scheme of our lives, the changes wrought by these truths are good and will contribute, in time, to our happiness.

Let’s celebrate the truths as they come and trust the outcome to God.  We are traveling a very special road.  The way is rocky.  The bends limit our vision, but we will be given all the direction we need.

Source (modified):  Each Day a New Beginning | Hazelden Meditations

26 Questions To Get A Marriage Talking

Excerpt:

What things did you see in this person that made you want to marry him?

What were your goals for your marriage when you were engaged?

What things in your marriage make you sad?

What things in your marriage make you happy?

If you could press a button and change your marriage, how would it change?

In what ways do you think God is honored in your marriage?

How would you characterize your communication with your spouse?

Describe how you and your spouse arrive at decisions.

Describe how you as a couple resolve conflicts.

How would you describe your spiritual life as a couple?

READ MORE:  26 Questions To Get A Marriage Talking.

Happiness Is How You Are, Not How You Feel

Excerpt:  Aristotle said, “Happiness is the meaning and the purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence.” For him and most of his contemporaries, happiness referred not to an emotion but the long-term pattern of action, the sum of which was your moral character. It is the habits of virtue that are acquired over years of exercising the appropriate virtues.

A person doesn’t feel happy as much as happiness is a general state of being. Viewing happiness as something in the world as opposed to an individual feeling is not the way we usually understand the term.

Read More:  Happiness Is How You Are, Not How You Feel | Psychology Today.

10 Good Habits to Develop

1. Set yourself some daily goals. Keep them realistic and achievable. That will give direction – so you don’t fritter your time.

2. Read inspirational books and blogs; hang around people who are positive.

3. Stay in touch with what’s happening in the world. We’re not just islands – we are part of one another.

4. Make the effort to stay in touch. Just a “like” on facebook, or a brief text message, conveys to that person that they matter to you.

5. Invest some time in your appearance and health. We’re more confident when we look and feel our best.

6. Pay attention to your priorities. Do what’s most important, and not most urgent, first. (Note: If you never learn to prioritise then everything seems urgent – and that’s what runs your life!)

7.  Smile. It makes people feel more positive towards you – and it tends to lift our mood, and enhance our feelings, too.

8. Tidy as you go. It’s easier to work, and you’ll feel a lot less stressed, if you’re working somewhere that’s devoid of clutter. Also, if you tidy as you go then it feels less overwhelming.

9. Include some margin in your life so you don’t feel so stressed, as unexpected things always eat away our time. Expect that to happen – and leave some extra time.

10. Take time for yourself as you need to relax, unwind, recover, and recharge your batteries.

via neurolove.me

When You Feel Anxious

1. Relax your breathing. Take deliberate slow, deep breaths, and feel the tension begin to subside.

2. Clear your mind of disturbing thoughts. Remind yourself of all your strengths, of those occasions when you’ve coped in the past, and of things you still have to look forward to.

3. Shut off the critical parent in your head. We all have weaknesses and make mistakes. Don’t abandon, attack, or reject yourself. You need to support, and to nurture, yourself.

4. Practice self-care. Temporarily step back from the stressful situation. Maybe listen to some music, or message a friend, or play with your pet, or go for a walk.

5. Respond – don’t react. You don’t have to do anything right now. Take a moment to take control of your feelings and your thoughts. Then assess the situations, and think through different options.

6. You may have to put up protective boundaries. We often don’t have the energy to give at these times – so withdraw from people who would drain your energy.

7. A burden shared is a burden halved. Share how you feel with someone who cares. It’s good to ask for help when you’re worried or afraid.

via Psychology Facts.

50 Characteristics of Healthy Relationships

If you can say yes to most of these, it’s very likely you’re in a healthy relationship.

Excerpt:

1. You can name your partner’s best friend and state a positive quality that person has.

2. You and your partner are playful with each other.

3. You think your partner has good ideas.

4. You’d like to become more like your partner in some ways.

5. Even when you disagree, you can acknowledge your partner makes sensible points.

6. You think about each other when you’re not physically together.

7. You see your partner as trustworthy.

8. In relationship-relevant areas (such as warmth and attractiveness), you view your partner a little bit more positively than s/he views themselves or how most other people view your partner.

9. You enjoy the ways your partner has changed and grown since you met.

10. Your partner is enthusiastic when something “goes right” for you.

READ MORE:  via 50 Characteristics of Healthy Relationships | Psychology Today.

A lifetime of listening

Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you’d have preferred to talk.
~ Doug Larson

Something to think about…

Our personhood is denied; the self we are presenting to the world is negated each time we speak yet go unheard.  “The greatest gift we can give one another is rapt attention.”  If we want attention, we must also give it.  That means letting go of all the extraneous thoughts when we’re in conversation with someone.  We cannot expect to get from others what we are unable or unwilling to give.

Being heard and hearing another person is more than just listening.  It’s letting ourselves be touched, in an intimate way, by the other’s words.  We don’t want judgment, or shame, or to be discounted when we share who we are with another.  We want to know that we have been intimately heard.  And when we have a chance to hear another, we listen intently for the words meant for us, words that will stretch our personhood and bring us closer to our inner serlves as well.

The beauty of hearing each other is that it helps us to hear ourselves.  We know better who we are when we listen to one another.  Every conversation offers us a chance to be real, to help another person be real.

Source (modified):  Each Day a New Beginning | Hazelden Meditations

Respect in a Relationship

Respect can be hard to quantify and measure. It means recognizing our own value and worth, and the value and worth of the other person. But what does that look like in relationships?

1. Think before you speak. Remember … you can’t take back your words no matter how much you regret them. So, don’t react in anger, and say mean and nasty things.

2. Acknowledge the other person’s contribution. Even when you have frustrations and some justified complaints remember to notice the positives as well. It’s likely that your partner does something right at times. Don’t write them off completely and see them as “all bad.”

3. Respect their personal boundaries. This applies to spending time, and doing things, with other people. Also, respecting their right to have their own views and opinions – without justifying their reasoning to you.

4. Being flexible and willing to compromise. Relationships are based on both give and take. It’s about the needs and preferences of both individuals.

5. Be considerate. Help the other person out; give each other compliments; and generally be thoughtful, kind and understanding.

6. Admit when you are wrong. If you’re secure, confident and have a healthy self-esteem you won’t be threatened by admitting you were wrong.

7. Never compromise the other person’s wellbeing. For example, if your temper’s a problemseek professional help. Also, don’t play with emotions, or attack their character.

8. Be honest and reliable. Be upfront and honest in your relationships. Don’t lie, pretend, play games, or let the other person down. This undermines that basic, and essential, sense of trust.

via neurolove.me